As a couples therapist, one of my hardest moments is when I realize the love is gone from their relationship. Just like watching something die, it never gets easier. The grief. The sadness. The anger. And of course, the mystery of why.

Deception in a relationship is one of the worst things you can do to your partner. The breach of trust is so great, that it accounts for 50% of the caseload for couples therapists. People struggle because they don't know how to repair their relationship, or, some wonder if they are even capable of coming back after an affair. Here are a few steps that may help you.

Some of us know that moment. The moment you and your partner get in some knock-down, drag-out fight, and finally the words are uttered, “I think we need couples counseling.” One of you spearheads the efforts, researching on yelp, google, or maybe talking to a trusted friend. But when it comes down to it…how do you decide who will help repair your relationship? And to add (and assume), help you with your most important relationship?

All couples experience ups and downs in their relationships. It is not only common, but expected that as people grow, age and change, so will their relationships. When experiencing difficulty, some couples turn to a trusted personal resource for help, and others may try to figure things out on their own. However, some couples look to counseling in the hopes that a relationship expert can provide important insights to guide them in a better direction.

If you are in a romantic relationship, it is quite normal to experience different levels of closeness with your partner at different times. At times, you could not be happier with how things are going and the possibilities for the two of you together seem endless, and other times, you may not believe you are considering a divorce or ending the relationship. Although vacillating between these two outlooks may be difficult, experiencing both the highs and lows of a relationship present the opportunity for us to understand ourselves more deeply, and identify different needs within ourselves and our relationships. And, this process, hopefully, leads to a stronger relationships and sense of ourselves.

Learn How to Share Power and Influence

Having influence in a relationship is the ability to effect the character or behavior of your partner. Influence can be positive or negative depending on the situation and the dynamic with your partner, depending on how you share power. If you and your partner have an unbalance of power, one person is always giving into the other, and the other begins to feel like a parent figure. What happens next? Distance and lack of emotional intimacy.

Is Your Marriage Falling Apart?

No matter if you have been married for one year, 10 years, or a lifetime - your marriage could be in a precarious state in the blink of an eye.

Often, people in this state are confused, unsure what to do next, and couples counseling can help. However, if you need change right away, below are some easy tips for you try immediately.