As a couples therapist, I have a unique window into the world of relationships. I see people from all walks of life, trying to do the best they can. So, what pulls them into couples counseling? There are many things, but the biggest offender that lurks in the shadow is silence. Silence, not in the traditional definition, but rather the continuous dance of holding back speaking your truth.

Do not (and we repeat!), do not bring it up during a heated argument.

If anything, do the opposite. Introduce the idea of considering therapy when you are both in a positive space (or at least, a non-argumentative space). To encourage cooperation and avoid defensiveness, try to use "I" statements, avoid blaming or saying "you".

If you have cheated in your marriage, you have broken the most fundamental relationship cornerstone: trust. If you want to save your relationship, you will need to do a lot of work to regain trust and stability with your partner.

Money. We love it and we hate it. Most people site that it is the number one thing they fight about with their partner. The typical couple that has financial differences looks like this: one partner is liberal with their money, and the other is conservative. One partner doesn’t bat an eye when it comes to purchasing, and the other has a mini-stroke each time he or she pulls out their wallet.

The main function of anxiety is to signal to us that something is wrong. This can be a very good thing when we perceive something dangerous or that doesn’t feel right. As an inherent safety mechanism, anxiety is an important emotion, however, when feelings of anxiety become excessive and uncontrollable, worry and unease can permeate your relationships and cause issues.

You have fallen in love, you have gotten married, and now you are wanting to experience the next major mile stone in one’s life: having a baby.

Depending on where you are in your thoughts about pregnancy, we are here to tell you that having a baby will change your relationship forever.

Always Having It Together Might Be Driving You And Your Partner A Part

The #1 way to bore your partner to pieces is to be emotionally distant or unavailable. Emotions and feelings are what make us uniquely human and our individual selves. They allow us to connect to and relate with one another. If you are not able to connect on an emotional level with your partner, you feel lonely and totally bored.

It can be hard to admit, but if you and your partner have not had sex in more than a month to up to a year; it is time to talk about it. Sex is a key factor distinguishing a friendship from an intimate relationship.

It is hard to imagine a time when smartphones didn’t exist. In a pre-smart phone world, we had to navigate with paper maps or directions, often getting lost. The anxiety of showing up late is better eased today through smartphones – just shoot off a text telling your party you are running late. Fixed! No need to call. We are all transfixed by our phones and staying connected digitally. Everyone is doing it - on the bus, walking downtown, at the local coffee shop, busily tapping or scrolling away. We’ve also all seen the cute couple having a romantic, candlelit dinner…staring down at their phones.

Do you and your partner have the same argument over and over or fights that are out of control? Although the topic of your battles with your partner may seem trivial, perpetuating a pattern of psychologically harmful and potentially violent behavior can be toxic to your relationship and personal well-being. So how do you get off that crazy ride? 

If you really think about it, the relationship you have with your partner has possibly the greatest impact of all your other relationships on your emotional well-being - for better or worse. If every morning, and every evening, you come home to a partner with whom you are fighting, not having sex with, feeling resentful towards, or no longer connecting with, we bet that no matter how much you avoid your relationship distress, it is impacting everything in your life, every day - work, friends, and your ability to enjoy life.

It’s very difficult to acknowledge or even consider that you might be in a dysfunctional relationship. Your friends may have expressed concern, your family may have intervened, or maybe you are silently suffering in your relationship, all alone.

Every relationship has its ups and downs. It is inevitable, really. We grow as human beings, life circumstances change, and new stressors emerge. All of these things are out of our control, and, as significant as they are, we may pay little attention to the changes as they become an intimate part of our every day life.

Learn How to be a Better Communicator

This is the first in a series about communication. This article will speak about what communication is, how to be a great communicator, what interferes with it, and how to handle these impediments skillfully.

Having a baby is exciting and very much at the same time, terrifying. All sorts of new questions brew in your mind. How will my body change? What sort of mother or a father will I be? What will the baby be like?

I am perpetually stunned, session after session and find without fail that your primary caregivers, your mother and father will form the blue print for how you are in your adult relationships.

For many, even the word "late" leads to feelings of frustration and stress. One partner may sit tapping their foot while the other's heart races. Sometimes being late is unavoidable, but when it happens all the time, it can be a much bigger problem. Ask yourself: are you chronically late? If you answered, "yes", or even "maybe", here are 5 easy tips to help you change from being late to being on time.

You are in your thirties.

By now, chances are, you are finally in a more developed and fulfilling career than in your twenties, school for the most part is over, and for some of you, you have found a significant other. Your home or apartment has taken on an “adult” look, and as you breathe in your newly found maturity, your thoughts turn to embarking into parenthood.

With such a vague and opaque process as therapy, how do you know it’s working? As a couples therapist, it is usually easy to spot. Clients will report that their relationship is getting healthier. They are happier. Their relationship has improved. Conversely, sometimes the outcome of therapy is not always what you had planned, but difficult decisions get made. While it may not be the progress you hoped, you are making movement.